Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize