I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
