I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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