There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
