He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
