She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
