Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Let's get the cat blown out
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
