how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
