4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
