Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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