Your mouth is God's brothel.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
