His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
