what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
