She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
