I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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