we have officially lost it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
