Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
