chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
