I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize