Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
