I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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