She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
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Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
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Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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