Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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