I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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