I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize