weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I need to sanitize my soul.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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