needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
