Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
