did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
