I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Omg I joined a choir last night...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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