Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
