im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
