oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
