real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize