Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
