Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
