dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
