i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
