the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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