Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
