i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
