i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
