He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
