You're earring is so big in my mouth
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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