The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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