When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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