somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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