I could have mohawked her pubes.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
