I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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