The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
