Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
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well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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