there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
