i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
