garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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