I need help removing her.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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