Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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