I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
