Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
