gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
