Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize