so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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