dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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