Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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