I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
