You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
