When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
